![]() Shit My Roommates Say: (Some background: Hannah recently discovered a youtube video called the blonde boy zone and plays it at every inopportune moment, including right before Audrey turned off the lights at 1am on Monday) Hannah: Audrey, can I put a sign on our door calling it the blonde boy zone? Audrey: None of us are blonde boys, Hannah. Hannah: I'm doing it. I have called you all here today to clear up a common misconception about cats. In Sherry Turkle's article "Stop Googling. Let's Talk.," Turkle accuses technology of performing an "assault on empathy." she puts forth an argument supporting technological determinism, which states that humankind is living in a utopian or dystopian world as a result of our tech. Find the article here: https://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/27/opinion/sunday/stop-googling-lets-talk.html?_r=0. In this case, Turkle suggests it is a dystopian one in which 12-year-olds bully each other because they don't understand what they're doing wrong after being made apathetic by their constant use of screens and parents spend more time Googling than they do asking their children about their days. Like cellphone-obsessed children, cats have been incessantly accused of apathy. My kind has been targeted by the media, painted as emotionless and soul-sucking. Like technology in Black Mirror or The Matrix trilogy, cats have been accused of attempting to take over the world. One example of this blatant smearing can be seen in the hit 2001 film Cats & Dogs (yes, it is a hit because it somehow managed to earn 200 million dollars). In Cats & Dogs, a naive, good-hearted beagle named Lou battles a maniacal Persian cat by the name of Mr. Tinkles who is hellbent on taking over the world. The movie has such voices as Jeff Goldblum, Tobey Maguire, and Alec Baldwin. Because they starred in this film, I now naturally dislike all of them. Firstly, cats have better things to do than take over this planet after the mess humans have made of things. We have a great time sleeping and swatting toys filled with the crack of the cat world: catnip. Secondly, do you really think we could be stopped by some tail-chasing nitwits? The answer, my human readers, is no......though one of my roommates (AUDREY) would disagree.
5 Comments
Shit My Roommates Say:
"Do you ever just feel like we're in the Sims and someone's controlling your life in this dorm?" -Clare Moran My human partner Clare and I moved onto this on campus suite a week and a half ago and so far, life has been good. The weather's supposedly sucked, but it's not like I ever get to go outside to witness it because Clare doesn't take me on many walks. This is something I'd resent more if not for the last walking incident when we ran into that dumb dog Bruce. One of our roommates, Ellen, keeps a bunch of snacks for me in her drawers. She and Hannah always scratch my back or play with me when I require it. We have a pretty solid relationship, because everyone in the suite understands who the boss is around here. They appease me with personal time and the comfiest cushion on the couch. Still, we aren't without our problems, like any family. My main problem is my fourth roommate. Her name is Audrey and she comes from a house with five dogs. Five! Which makes for six idiots. She made the mistake of trying to pet me like one of those damn dogs, cooing and bending down to rub my stomach. I hid under Clare's desk until the weirdo went away. She dances around the room sometimes when it's just the two of us. I hope she doesn't actually think she's any good. If I spoke human, I'd tell her that. Everyone is in and out of the room throughout the day, except for me. I'm always around. At night, they all come back, sitting around our living room, doing homework and playing their video games. They became friends out of their mutual interest in dorky things like horror games, comic books, and true crime TV shows. According to Audrey, this would be considered more of geeking out than hanging out because of how their friendship originally sprouted. They all gather over one screen and watch as elevator music comes from the speakers and stupidly proportioned characters say sweet things before being ruthlessly beheaded or gutted or things of that sort. Then the girls collectively shriek, while I watch from my favorite spot on the windowsill. I didn't sign up for this. |
MeI want to live my life like Steve Buscemi in Fargo. Some other idols I have include Garfield and Beyonce. Archives
April 2018
Categories |